If I were a billy goat,
I wouldn't be so gruff.
And if I were a big bad wolf,
I wouldn't be so rough.
But if I were a father bear,
I'd grab that gold-haired kid,
and bring her back to mother's care,
and tell her what she did.
Then she'd go to boarding school,
and cut off all her locks,
be bullied by the older kids,
with words and sticks and rocks.
And then one day she'd realize,
her actions weren't too smart,
and eating other people's porridge,
can break somebody's heart!